Americans with no abilities act proposal Part 1


don evans 3 years, 4 months ago

Americans With No Abilities Act

President Barack Obama and the Democratic Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.


don evans 3 years, 4 months ago

Part 2. >
Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new

measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?"

"As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug- nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good for people like me. l finally have job security." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Sen. Dick Durbin: "As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."

Some observers offered the opinion that we may have already kick-started this program by having a POI in the White House.


Robert Jones 3 years, 4 months ago

Mr. Evans,

I find this contemptible even IF it is intended as sarcasm.

If you can show me that this is an actual proposed law, I will join you wholeheartedly in your disgust for our present government. I'll even join the "tea-b**#$ers"!!!

However, if this is intended as a joke, your usage of quotation marks surrounding statements allegedly made by elected officials is WAY beyond the pale. As is your advocating violence against your political opposition, which you have done repeatedly on this site!! Have you no integrity at all. Make yourself clear!!! If this is a joke I'll laugh with you, if not (and Boxer etal, did NOT make those statements).............. shame on you!!

You have shown your stripes. They are obviously a mean spirit, and unusual disrespect of our OWN country and system.

Please clarify and INFORM me on this POI "act". If real, I will take back all my opposition to those of you wanting to use arms (even AK-47's) against those tanks when the feds send them in. You'll still be slaughtered, of course, but you will have died with HONOR!!



Pat Randall 3 years, 4 months ago

Don, It wouldnl't surprise me at all if what you posted is true. I think a lot of employees are already working under the system you posted. Try ordering food at a fast food place, they don't understand what I am saying and I don't understand them for the most part. Some people just don't want to work.


Rex Hinshaw 3 years, 3 months ago

Mr,Jones, Just lighten up and get over yourself. I thought it was very humorous and harmless....and I didn't need a clarification.


Robert Jones 3 years, 3 months ago

well good for you Mr. Hinshaw.

I still don't think using quotes that are not actually quotes at all is beyond misleading. Mr. Evans has made his attitude towards his political opposition quite apparent. Advocating violence is reprehensible as a tactic to silence political opposition. I take him at his word. YOU won't effect my judgment about such statements by making belittling comments towards me. I have no intention of "getting over" anything.

My opinion of Mr. Evans is my opinion. Nothing less, nothing more. IF Mr. Evans would clarify that this post is INDEED a joke than I'll lighten up and laugh along. Until then, I don't find it amusing to be "making up" statements of elected officials and putting said statements within quotation marks. It's essentially lying!

Good day to you Hinshaw.



don evans 3 years, 3 months ago

Jones, your reaction is so atypical of a so called enlightened progressive. The others on here got the point right away. What bothers you the most is I don't care what you think or feel about me or what I post. I'm not interested in being your friend or engageing in useless discourse to understand where you say your coming from. For me, your posts have revealed who is behind the burka. You are one of the self identified enemy and to be confronted and challenged at any opportunity of my choseing. Who is that standing behind you?


John Lemon 3 years, 3 months ago

Mr. Jones; It seems to me that most satire has "lying" as an integral part. Usually and in this case satire is obvious to the watcher/reader/listener.


Robert Jones 3 years, 3 months ago


Your attacks are just so ridiculous. Now even I am an "enlightened/progressive" LOL!

As there are some folks that actually KNOW me and some of my political views around, they are laughing their rear-ends off at your erroneous assumptions.

I still don't get the POINT! of misusing quotes. Or of advocating violence against all your "perceived" political enemies!!

However, throwing attacks back and forth at each other is just an enormous waste of time and energy so I'll cease replying to this "triggering" event.

Neither you, nor I, will be around to witness this "new world" you are so afraid of anyway. Unfortunately there will be many left behind who will just say "good riddance" to the both of us.

That, sir, is quite sad. We should have left a better legacy than scorn and rejection!! I'd bet we're BOTH wrong on plenty of things. I won't bother pointing out to you my "concern" (Now THAT IS sarcasm!!) that you don't want to be friends!!


PS. I don't own a "burka" or even know for sure what one is. However, I recognize a pile of dung when I see it and do my best not to lie down in it. A practice you ought to observe!


Kathryn Lewallen 3 years, 3 months ago

Once again, ignorant rumors are spread without taking time to check the facts. This is especially troubling to me, as I am a conservative and dislike being lumped in with those who fall for this kind of thing.


don evans 3 years, 3 months ago

The fact that "some" cannot recognize the obvious is indeed sad. And what is most troubling is that they probably vote based on the same criteria.


Robert Jones 3 years, 3 months ago

"This is satire from the humorous website The Onion and it was originally written on June 24, 1998."

Thank YOU Ms. Lewallen for clearing this up completely. Now that I know the source (The Onion of all places!!!) I understand it IS completely satire and intended to make fools of those that actually believe such nonsense!!! So, I'll ("get over myself" and) laugh along!!!

Funny bit. The fact that "some" didn't even recognize it as hogwash---or attempted to "USE" it to whip up misguided and ignorant fears says a ton about their judgment!!

the same judgment they use when formulating their political opinions and casting their Votes!!!

That is quite sad! And says plenty about the extremist right amongst us!!

The other sad thing is on many, many issues Mr. Evans and myself (and probably yourself) would likely agree on the Nation's troubling concerns.

Tactics like this post just damage the credibility of the entire "movement".

The other amusing and ironic fact is that The Onion (most readers and observers would claim) is a liberal leaning publication (at Least!)

I wonder, do you think Mr. Evans reads it?? Or does he just post spam from misguided right-wing extremists?

A laugh does us all good from time-to-time though. It's far healthier than advocating violence towards other political stripes repeatedly........



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