Tuesday May 21, 2013
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I am completely perplexed. Just finished reading the news story about the American woman who went missing in Istanbul,Turkey and was found dead from a "fatal blow to the head".
This woman was married and the mother of 2 young kids, 9 and 11 years of age.
The news story states that she was in Istanbul, Turkey for a "solo vacation".
Can someone please help me to understand the thought process behind a relatively young AMERICAN MOTHER AND WIFE going on a "solo vacation" to a politically unstable country ALONE??
Does the term "risk assessment" mean anything?
Sorry, I am just appalled at the thought processes of some people.
I was once married to a cop. Before she joined the force her best friend (A little whimpy fellow) wanted us to go to Colorado with him. I couldn't go because of my job, but she decided she wanted to go and take our two year old daughter.
Well, I sure had misgivings about that, and rightly so. Because, even though the guy was whimpy, he was still a guy, and she was a knock dead gorgeous girl. But, I gave in, against my better judgment. I did that because I had sense enough to know that if I didn't trust her in that, I'd not be able to trust her in anything. And, I knew she would think the same. That could sink a relationship as easily as her abusing the privilege, and I saw that.
I knew she was a devoted mother, and wife, I knew the fellow and thought of him as my own friend, as well, and she had our daughter with her. As far as I know, it turned out OK. (:-)) But, looking back, I'd not do it again. Because some years later I caught her fooling around with another cop.
It's just not the smart thing to do, but I can understand the reason the husband let her go.
If a person is happy at home, they won't be out wandering no matter what temptation is put in front of them.
The husband in now in Turkey to get his wife's body. Says he has not told his children thier mother is dead. Does he have them locked in a closet somewhere?
I am going to try very hard to not be, or sound, adversarial now. Perhaps it is my age, or the years of taking care of myself and being on my own, or years of being in the business world, but, the question of why her husband would have "let" her go, never once crossed my mind. My husband does not "let" me do anything. He has enough respect for me as a woman, as an adult, and as a rational, logical, smart decision-making human being to recognize that I value him, my marriage and our life together far too highly to ever jeopardize any of it with a stupid, selfish decision.
No, my question is why a seemingly happily married Mother of young kids would feel the need to take a risk such as she took. Why the need for a "solo vacation"? Why to Istanbul, Turkey? Why would she put herself in a position to be killed?
I suspect that either we will hear very little more about this (a cover-up), or we will hear that there was a LOT more to the story than a married mother taking a "solo vacation".
Pat, I wondered the same thing. Although, it goes back to my belief that there is more to the story. Was it common practice for their mother to take off on "solo vacations"? Was it normal for them to not hear from or speak to her for days on end?
Mr. Sims, my husband has a saying, "You always gotta watch for the red flags". I am sorry, but your wife wanting to go off on a trip with your daughter, with another man, without you, was a HUGE red flag, flapping furiously in the wind. She knew that she had you over a barrel, if you had told her you didn't want her to go, she could claim that you didn't trust her, whereas, by letting her go, you gave your tacit approval for her activities. My apologies, but I despise women like that. They are the ones who have made men so leary and gun shy of good, honest, moral, loving women.
This story just breaks my heart on so many levels.
Where is the daughter she took with her?
With age comes vulnerability and maybe more common sense. I lived in Germany for a few years back in the 60's and that taught me to be cautious at an early age. I did travel alone back then but always on group tours where you made friends to venture out or I traveled with my spouse.
I had the opportunity to go back to Germany this past year for a visit but decided not to go. The world is a very different place now and I'm staying in the confines of the USA. It's a sad situation.
Younger people feel invinsible like harm only happens to someone else. I'm sure there is more to the story but in the end, this young mother ventured out, took a chance on possibly a trip of a lifetime.......personally, it's not worth it to me in this crazy world.
"If a person is happy at home, they won't be out wandering no matter what temptation is put in front of them." Pat, I think you are right up to a point. Hindsight and statistics show that cops have a higher percentage of divorce than just about any other group. And, it is because, in large part with the temptations they run into. Long shifts sharing a car with the other gender, stopping very attractive people who might make it clear you have a shot at whatever, and so forth.
I'll be the first to admit that she didn't have a perfect husband. It takes two to tango, and I'm sure I bought my own portion of the grief that came about.
Having said that, I think she was the best cop in the state of Texas. That's what the Chief of Police for the City of El Paso told me. For several years running she was either President or a Vice President for the Police Association for the State of Texas. And, I heard that from several prominent folks, from DA's, Judges, Sheriffs, Federal Marshals and so forth.
And, her reasons she never explained, but she advised me the day our divorce was final (We had lunch near the courthouse) to marry a little mousy girl and I'd be happy. (:-)) (Her words not mine.) But, she was right. 25 years of marriage to the right girl is a happy life for an old you-know-what.
The daughter lives on her own, has children of her own, and has some issues that preclude interaction with either her Mom or me. (Maybe we did that to her? I don't know. Doctors don't seem to think so, but then she says they don't know what they talk about, either.)
Well, Kim, it broke mine for sure, hearing about a family with a huge hole in it. We recently had a young mother die of cancer, leaving a new born, and two kids under the age of 7, a husband and two weeping families. The young husband was devastated, as I'm sure this one and the families are. May God bless them and help them make a new life from the ashes of what has happened.
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