Tuesday August 30, 2016
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Just opened an eMail announcing that today is Talk Like A Pirate Day!
And why should I be the last of ye scurvy bilge rats to be knowin’ this, I ask?
From the eMail:
Top Ten Pickup lines for use on Talk Like a Pirate Day
Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
Come on up and see me urchins.
Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
Well blow me down!
And the number one pickup line for use on Talk Like a Pirate Day is …
What, no eye patch jokes?
OK, what'd the one-eyed female pirate say to her boyfriend?
One more day, Dean, and I'm a FREE MAN!
Now, what did the one-eyed female pirate say to her boyfriend?
"Let me know when yer comin' home... I'll keep an eye out for ya!"
Know any good parrot jokes?
OK, here's one you CAN'T punch up:
This guy meets a pirate in a bar. The pirate has a parrot on his shoulder. The two men take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas.
The guy notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eyepatch. He asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the guy. "What about your hook"?
"Well," replied the pirate, "while my men and I were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant. I was arrested and my hand was cut off."
"Incredible!" remarked the guy. "How did you get the eyepatch?"
"I fell asleep on my back and this parrot sh*t in my eye," replied the pirate, motioning to the parrot sitting quietly on his shoulder.
"You lost your eye to a parrot dropping?" the guy asked incredulously.
"Well, no," said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook..."
Yarrr... this wireless be workin', by golly!
Yarrr ye seaswabies, I knows the name of that parrott!!!
Yarrr to you too!
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