Paysonites Vs. Paysonians

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Editor:

It has been my observation that all the people in Payson can be divided into two groups, Paysonites and Pasonians:

1- A Paysonite owns a gun. A Paysonian owns 17 guns, two AK-15s, and a grenade launcher.

2- A Paysonite collects art. A Paysonian clips art from Playboy, Hustler, and Penthouse.

3- A Paysonite drinks fine wine. A Paysonian drinks beer usually from his friend's refrigerator.

4- A Paysonite gets tight. A Paysonian gets stoned.

5- A Paysonite drives a Lexus. A Paysonian coaxes a 1972 Ford pickup with an expired license, four bald tires, a missing muffler, and six dogs, 27 empty beer cans, and a quarter cord of stolen firewood in the back.

6- A Paysonite is usually retired. A Paysonian is retiredid.

7- A Paysonite does not use four letter words. A Paysonian uses them freely except one work.

8- When a Paysonite says he will be right over, it means in 15 minutes. When a Paysonian says he will be right over he means in the next month or two when he needs a favor.

9- And lastly, Paysonians always have more fun, pay less bills (some none at all), do less work, have more lovers, and generally just don't give a spotted owl hoot.

Payson is a dichotomy. No doubt about it. And remember, when your moment of supreme triumph finally arrives, relish it for all its worth. It won't last. So embrace ineptitude, revel in the futility of it all and have FUN feeling like a loser.

Steve Bingham

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