- Have town councilors take turns being the official Wal-Mart greeter. As each customer comes in, the councilor would flash his badge and say, "On behalf of the Payson Town Council, welcome to Wal-Mart -- and remember to mind your manners."
- You know those water vending machines around town. How about stationing a town councilor at each one. As a customer approaches the machine, plastic jugs and quarters in hand, the councilor flashes his badge and says, "On behalf of the Payson Town Council, welcome to this water vending machine. We're in a drought, so don't slop any water or I'll have to run you in."
- Nothing ticks me off like people who don't follow the rules of the road with their shopping carts. How about having our town councilors go undercover and patrol our supermarkets. When a councilor catches an unsuspecting old lady blocking the aisle, the councilor flashes his badge and says, "Ma'am, you're in violation of (mumble here, because people have the constitutional right to drive shopping carts like idiots). And have a sample of our chocolate chip cookies made fresh daily right here in our very own bakery."
- Here's a way our town council can use their badges to help us beautify the community. Each time a councilor sees a Rim country resident wearing a Payson Concrete & Materials ball cap, he or she flashes the badge and says, "Excuse me, sir, but you are in violation of the fundamental laws of good taste."
- When goats are reintroduced into the Tonto National Forest later this year, they will be accompanied by goat herders. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? What a great job for town councilors armed with their badges. I can hear them now: "OK, you goats, move on. We have laws against loitering in these parts."
- Tyler Parkway residents just hate it when people try to go fast on the world's slowest parkway. Why not station town councilors along the road to flash their badges at motorists who are exceeding the speed limit. It would sure get my attention.
- And last, but certainly not least, I say we strip annex Pete's Place (no pun intended) and station town councilors out there with their badges to control the activities therein. Here's how it might go: "Excuse me, ma'am, but we have laws against false advertising. I'm going to have to take you in."