It Shur Ain't Kansas



The American Film Institute just celebrated its 100th birthday by releasing its "Top 100 Movie Quotes -- America's Greatest Quips, Comebacks and Catchphrases."

Number one, you might have guessed, is "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," from "Gone With the Wind." Number 100, you probably would never guess is, "I'm king of the world," from "Titanic."

Amazingly enough some of the Top 100 seem to have been written for the Rim country, at least with a minor revision or two. Here they are, along with the movie in which they were uttered, and their link to our lives:

  • "You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." ("On the Waterfront") -- The wanna-be town of Diamond Star lamenting what might have been had it not been sucked dry.
  • "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas, anymore." ("The Wizard of Oz) -- Butch, a new mutt at the Payson Humane Society, to fellow dog, Toto, after reading the town's new and stricter barking dog ordinance.
  • "Go ahead, make my day." ("Sudden Impact") -- Rim country resident waving goodbye to Flatlanders returning home at the end of Labor Day weekend.
  • "May the water be with you." ("Star Wars") -- Traditional farewell uttered by one Rimaroo to another.
  • "Made it, Ma! Top of the World. Unless you count Flagstaff and a few other places." ("White Heat") -- Retiree to his wife upon moving to Payson from California.
  • "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" ("Network") -- Driver to passenger as he hits yet another pothole on McLane Road.
  • "We are big! It's the pictures that got small." ("Sunset Boulevard") -- Rim country resident looking at a Gila County redistricting map.
  • "Show me the money!" ("Jerry Maguire") -- Town's six-figure employees bellying up to the pay window on July 1.
  • "Why don't you come up sometime and see me." ("She Done Him Wrong") -- Rim Country Regional Chamber of Commerce's new campaign slogan aimed at Flatlanders.
  • "You can't handle the truth." ("A Few Good Men") Payson Town Council to the Diamond Star Water Coalition.
  • "Hasta la vista, baby." ("Terminator 2: Judgment Day") -- Diamond Star Water Coalition to the Payson Town Council.
  • "Badges? We got badges! We need badges! We can't wait to show you our stinking badges! ("The Treasure of the Sierra Madre") -- Payson Town Council to anybody who will stand still long enough.
  • "I'll be back." ("The Terminator") Ex-mayor Ken Murphy on his way out of town.
  • "We'll always have Payson, even if we suck our neighbors dry." ("Casablanca") -- New town motto.
  • "I see dead people." ("The Sixth Sense") -- Stranger remarking on how many retirees live in Payson.
  • "Well, nobody's perfect." ("Some Like It Hot") -- Preamble to new building code telling people what colors they can paint their houses.
  • "La-dee-da, la-dee-dah." ("Annie Hall") -- Diane Sexton's platform in her third run for mayor.
  • "As God is my witness, I'll never be thirsty again." ("Gone With the Wind") -- Ex-Paysonian explaining why he moved to the Northwest.
  • "What a dump." ("Beyond the Forest") -- Visitor driving down the Beeline through fast food/real estate row.
  • "Elementary, my dear Watson. We need water. They've got water." ("The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes") -- One town official to another.
  • "Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape." ("Planet of the Apes) -- Jack Babb, former Payson fire marshal, to former Mayor Ken Murphy outside the Oxbow Saloon on rodeo weekend.
  • "They're here!" ("Poltergeist") -- Beleaguered native as carload after carload arrives from the Valley on Fourth of July weekend.
  • "Forget it, Jake, it's Payson." ("Chinatown") -- Local's response to tourist asking, "Where can I get something to eat after 9 p.m.?"
  • "We have always depended on the kindness of strangers." ("A Streetcar Named Desire") -- Scott Flake, chairman of the Payson Regional Economic Development Corporation, explaining the town's dependence on tourism.
  • "Hello, gorgeous." ("Funny Girl") -- ADOT officials admiring their brand new roundabout on Highway 87 at Tyler Parkway.
  • "My precious." ("The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers") -- Good old boy to his trusty Payson Concrete and Materials cap.
  • "Life is a banquet, and most of the poor suckers outside the gate are starving to death!" ("Auntie Mame") -- Chaparral Pines and The Rim Club residents looking down from their kingdoms.
  • "My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you." ("Yankee Doodle Dandy") -- Message on Christmas card sent to SRP by Buzz Walker referencing the coming of Blue Ridge Reservoir water.

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