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If you're reading this special senior issue, you no doubt remember the old Burma Shave signs.
They were a succession of four or five roadside signs, each bearing part of a poem that usually concluded with "Burma-Shave":
Although insured
Remember, kiddo
They don't pay you
They pay your widow
Burma-Shave
A plug for shaving cream, they kept countless drivers occupied as they plied the nation's mostly two-lane highways in a slower era before freeways made them obsolete:
A whiskery kiss
For the one you adore
May not make her mad
But her face will be sore
Burma-Shave
Begun in 1925, many were testaments to values that today seem, at best, quaint:
The place to pass
On curves you know
Is only at
A beauty show
Burma-Shave
And to a time when humor was unadulterated corn:
Her chariot
Raced 80 per
They hauled away
What had Ben Her
Burma-Shave
As a group of civic-minded citizens launches a fund-raising campaign to create a gateway to Payson right in the middle of the roundabout on Highway 87 at Tyler Parkway, it seems to us that maybe the town might also want to consider revitalizing the Burma-Shave signs concept to provide visitors with some important information as they approach town. Here are a few off the top of my head:
On the Beeline approaching Payson from the north:
Please don't scream
Please don't shout
But you're coming up
On our roundabout
Burma-Shave
On the Beeline approaching Payson from the south:
Put away that Bic
Or to jail you'll go
Unless your name's
Valinda Jo
Burma-Shave
On Tyler Parkway:
Slow way down
Or face gunplay
You're driving on
The world's slowest parkway
Burma-Shave
On 260 east between Payson and Star Valley:
They talk a good line
They're cute like an otter
But don't turn your back
'Cuz they want your water
Burma-Shave
On 260 west approaching Star Valley:
Don't ask her for help
You'll just get her ticked
For she's Shirley Dawson
Queen of the gerrymandered district
Burma-Shave
On Highway 188 just before the Beeline:
They head back down south
Gila County dudes rude
With their booty from up north
Once again we've been screwed
Burma-Shave
On the Beeline near Best Western Payson Inn:
We all cry meow
But we're not out for food
We just want you to buy
From the Cat Condo dude
Burma-Shave
On the Beeline near the southern town limits:
You might call us unfriendly
But we just want to warn ya
We don't cotton to folks
Who hail from California
Burma-Shave
On Airport Road near the industrial park:
Welcome to Payson
A friendly little town
As long as you agree
To keep your decibels down
Burma-Shave
(And from Carol La Valley)
On just about any road you choose:
60 churches
10 gas stations
How many do we need
In the town of Payson
Burma-Shave
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