I am writing this column on Aug. 28, ostensibly known as Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day and Crackers Over the Keyboard Day.
It is also the week of Be Kind to Humankind during Happiness Happens month.
Whoever thought up the following observances, I thank you, especially the Bald-Headed Men of America who promote Sept. 8 as National Rub a Bald Head Day.
Listed on the Missouri Small Business Development Center's promotional calendar is National Waffle Week, Sept. 3 through 9.
I plan to wait to have my waffles with chocolate syrup on International Chocolate Day, Sept. 13, then again on Sept. 22, International White Chocolate Day.
An apple a day is said to keep the doctor away, but I think it might be a good thing that, International Eat An Apple Day, Sept. 16, is the day before National Farm Animals Week begins.
Ironically those horses, cows, pigs and ducks get their week of fame observed at the same time as National Clean Hands Week.
September has not only been declared Menopause Awareness Month by our own Food and Drug Administration, but someone riding the Mobeus loop, declared September Metaphysical Awareness month.
According to author Cathy Stucker, "Someday" is Sept. 15. It is a day to take action on one of those projects you have been putting off.
Dang. Someday I want to clean out my files but, call me an obsessive compulsive procrastinator, National Love Your Files Week does not begin until Sept. 17.
Brownielocks.com lists interesting observances by the odd folk who babble at one another across this great land.
Again, the respective day-namers did not realize September was Subliminal Communication Month, nor did they communicate by other means, since so many observances are at cross purposes.
For instance, Sept. 23 is National Hunting and Fishing Day. Its perpetrators aim to help people understand that "without hunters and anglers, conservation couldn't exist in our country."
If People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wanted to really counter that observance they would have declared Fish Amnesty Day on Sept. 23 not Sept. 25.
"Avast, me hearties!" reads www.talklikeapirate.com. John Baur and Mark Summers were playing racquetball 11 years ago when they started shouting encouragement to each other in pirate vernacular. In 2002, Dave Barry, wrote about Talk Like a Pirate Day, Sept. 19, in his column.
The holidays continue until we finish out the year with National Stress Free Family Holidays Month being declared for December. And I was heartened to find that Friday, Dec. 29 is designated No Interruptions Day.
That means, "At work we will minimize or eliminate interruptions to our thought processes," according to www.springboardtraining.com. Please, can I just stay home and read a book?