Dear Dr. Donna,
I have a good friend who has a problem being on time. I like this person and do not want to lose the friendship, but I get really frustrated having to wait for her arrival. She always seems to have some excuse that I really can't argue with -- her kids needed something, or her ill mother called. Do you have any suggestion about what I should do?
Peeved in Payson
I suggest you tell your friend basically what you are telling me -- that you like her and want to keep the friendship, but that you feel frustrated having to wait for her arrival because you'd like to spend more time with her. Then ask if she would be willing to stop other activities to give her enough time to meet you at the scheduled hour in the future. If that does not work, you might adjust your expectations and add on extra time to allow for your friend's repeated patterns of behavior. I imagine, though, that just bringing the subject to the table may help your friend be more conscious of your feelings and needs.
Dear Dr. Donna,
I know it's the holidays, but I feel like a Scrooge. I'm so tired, I haven't had the energy to decorate and I am worried about finances and have not bought any gifts either. I tell myself I should be happier, but it doesn't seem to work. How can I get myself into the holiday spirit?
Scrooge in Strawberry
I say, "This is the season of love," so why not accept your true feelings and express them honestly to those you trust? If you are feeling tired and worried, you can ask for help. Surely there are others in your life who could benefit from contributing to your well-being.
When we are open to receive love, we allow others the opportunity to give love to us. Happy holidays.
Dr. Donna Steckal facilitates a communication practice group every Friday, from 10:45 a.m. to noon, at 616 South Beeline Hwy., Ste. 105. For further information, call (928) 474-4452.