Learning To Let Go



It is important that we need to let go of insecurity, guilt, anxiety, perfection, fairness, and our illusions and defenses.

This sounds like a great deal to release and if we do manage to let go of all the above, what will be left?

It is important to note that all of these attributes are related to Weak Ego, the worth that we receive from external sources.

All of the above serve to protect us from ourselves and to provide reasons to internalize or excuse our human behaviors.

They all help to justify why we are the way we are and to prevent us from taking responsibility and from changing ourselves.

When we let go of the need to be something we cannot be -- perfect -- we will discover that what we have left is our humanness, our goodness, our belief and trust of ourselves.

We also will be left with the kind, objective and responsible self. We will be left with the realization that we make mistakes, feel pain and often do not know why.

What is wrong with that?

The best way to learn to let go of anything is lovingly. Do not hate or fight what you are trying to let go of. Rather, honor all of it and realize that all of these things -- your past, your guilt, your defenses and illusions -- brought you to this place you are right now. All of these things made you what you are and all of them worked for you because you survived.

Think of all these things as tools, albeit faulty tools, but tools nonetheless because they got you here. And now you need new tools, better tools, to get you where you want to be.

Respect the old tools before you throw them away, before you let go.

It is always much easier to let go of something that we have outgrown than it is to let go of something we hate or are angry with.

When we hate something and try to get rid of it, it tends to become sticky and to cling to us. When we lovingly let go and see the value of what we are getting rid of, it tends to slide away more easily.
A good example of this is a relationship that you have outgrown. If you can focus on the good things in the relationship and what you learned from it, the leaving is easier and you tend to feel OK about yourself.

But if you can only focus on the hatred and the negativity, the relationship still exerts power over you and you are not free and not feelingK with yourself.

Honor all things that you want to let go of. Look on each of them and remember how they worked for you. Appreciate them for getting you here.

Tell yourself that now you are strong enough and responsibleo yourself, you no longer need what you onceeeded. All of development means letting go and moving on.

When we need a crutch, it is nice to have one handy. When we no longer need it, we can gently and lovingly put it away.

The more self-esteem you develop, the more crutches you will put away. The crutch only becomes an impediment when you no longer need it.

Letting go is a process. It takes time. It is an easier process when it is doneith love.

Dyanne Yellowlight-Anderson is an intuitive adviser living in Payson and owner of Above and Beyond Holistic Services and Life Coaching.

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