If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, try this:
1. Enter Mexico illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.
2. Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.
3. Demand bilingual nurses and doctors.
4. Demand free bilingual local government forms and bulletins.
5. Procreate abundantly.
6. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It's a cultural USA thing. You would not understand, pal."
7. Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper.
8. Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do the same.
9. Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system.
10. Demand a local Mexican driver's license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal presence in Mexico.
11. Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws.
12. Insist that Mexican law enforcement teach English to all its officers.
Good luck. You'll be demanding for the rest of time you are there, because it will never happen. It will not happen in Mexico, or any other country in the world, except right here in the United States, land of the naive, stupid, idiotic politically correct politicians.
Does this adventure sound, in any way, familiar to you?
Marvin Joachim, Payson