Some Things Are Better Left To The Professionals



Earlier this year, I mentioned that I had played a game of shed poker with a squirrel in my back yard. My intention was get rid of the squirrel, which wanted to nest under my workshop. The squirrel's intention was to stay put. I opened with a hand that held cement pavers, which I put around the workshop. The squirrel saw my pavers and raised me two deep, offset burrows that went around and under the pavers. I saw the burrows and raised with a bucketful of cement to fill the burrows.

And the squirrel ...

Well, you can imagine the result. It was no contest. The squirrel was holding all the cards, and possibly most of the brains. In the end, I gave up. I know when I'm up against a pro.

But then I heard the sound of chewing under the workshop and came to the conclusion, after some looking around, that the little guy was about to bite off more than he could chew -- 220 volts. As a result, I bought a Have-A-Heart squirrel trap, set it with a Ritz cracker smeared with peanut butter, waited two nights, trapped a squirrel, and drove it to an unnamed destination with lakes and trees, and lots of good things for squirrels to eat.

The destination is unnamed, in case it was your back yard. If it was, I know nothing about that squirrel that showed up a while back. I was in Columbus, Ohio, buying a new pair of Reeboks, and that bald-headed guy you saw was named Curly.

Thinking that my little buddy might have a little buddy of his own, I set the trap again.

The first night, as before, there was no result. But the second night? Oh my.

As Walt Disney would put it: El skunké de pew.

"Now, what do I do?" I asked myself. It was Sunday, a lousy time to run into that kind of problem -- not that any day is a good day for it. I called the Sheriff's Office with a one word request, "Help."

And help they did. They gave me the name and telephone number of the exact people I needed: Critters, Etc., a wildlife control service right in Payson. I made a call, got the number of a cell phone I could call on Sunday, made a second call, reached Dave, half the team of Pete and Dave Hold, and had someone at the house in a jiffy.

Now, I've got to tell you, approaching an unhappy skunk trapped in a wire cage is not something I would want to do, but you should have seen Dave Hold handle the problem. Believe it or not, he got the skunk into his pickup, unruffled and unharmed, without the slightest problem. No spray. None. I'd have been taking baths in tomato sauce for two months if I had tried it.

Anyway, I won't be setting that trap again in a rush. I assume that the squirrels are gone. They better be. I've had my fill of playing shed poker with card-shark squirrels.

As for the remainder of the wildlife around my place, if anything else needs trapping, I know just who to call.

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