Top 10 List For Speeders


So, the Department of Public Safety figured they'd set up on Highway 87 over the weekend and get people to slow down -- given the demonstrably dangerous nature of the curvy little bit of highway.

The DPS officers set up two speed enforcement details in the Rye and Deer Creek areas for parts of Saturday and Sunday.

They pulled in some real brain surgeons.

One 18-year-old motorcycle rider noticed the law closing in -- so he pulled a reckless u-turn and went speeding back up the hill at 121 miles per hour -- laughing at the left-in-the-dust coppers, while no doubt causing much interesting comment in the DPS airplane overhead precisely measuring his speed.

DPS officers picked him up making a cell phone call on the roadside -- maybe singing that little ditty "I fought the law..."

But here's the thing -- he wasn't the only one.

In fact, that brief effort resulted in 164 traffic tickets, including 136 speeding tickets, 21 non-moving violations, one DUI and some seat belt and child restraint violations. Oh yeah, and 22 very lucky or very persuasive people only received speed warnings. The threshold for actually issuing a speeding ticket was 80 mph.

That be a lot of tickets.

Now, we were going to urge our beloved readers to slow down out there. But then we got to thinking: Maybe we're missing something. So many people speed with such flare and persistence, that perhaps we're being narrow minded. So, instead, let us consider some good reasons to speed.

  • We need more brain-damaged motorcyclist to serve as organ donors.
  • The state faces a big budget deficit -- we should all contribute our traffic fines.
  • You meet the nicest people in traffic school.
  • Given the rising cost of food, those free jailhouse meals have a certain appeal.

•The quicker you wreck your car, the quicker you can get a hybrid and save the planet.

  • Einstein's Theory of Relativity teaches us that time slows down as your velocity increases, so speeding is kind of an anti-aging strategy....especially if you don't make it to your next birthday.
  • If you get to where ever the heck you're going 15 minutes sooner, you can use the extra time to buy a lottery ticket. Heck, you got lucky on the drive, could be your day.
  • Speeders entertain DPS officers -- especially the guys in the airplanes.
  • The poor insurance companies have to manufacture so many lame excuses to raise your rates -- this is sooooo much easier.
  • The price of gas isn't high enough -- go faster, use more gas and help out the oil companies.

Good reasons all.

And on the other side we have just: You could die, kill someone, or get a $200 ticket.

Hmmm. Close call. You pick.

Either way, they're waiting for you out there.

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