Sometimes I feel like the cream in an Oreo cookie.
That's because I'm caught between two Rim Country anglers with varying fishing skills.
One is outdoor columnist Dennis Pirch who ranks among the most knowledgeable and adept fishermen ever to toss a line into a Rim Country stream or lake.
The other angler is reporter Pete Aleshire who holds a master's degree from prestigious Stanford University and has a vocabulary that doubles Dennis' and mine.
The trouble is, Pete thinks of himself as an accomplished angler, possibly the equal of Dennis, but he just can't produce the lunker size catches to prove he's that good.
Now Pete is a very intelligent and a top-notch reporter, but he's so enthralled with fishing he's convinced megabytes means a great day fishing. I'm convinced if he had a dog, he would name it Evinrude.
While a student at Stanford and taking a philosophy class, Pete thought the professor said, "I fish, therefore I am."
I'm caught in the middle of Dennis and Pete mostly because Dennis e-mails me pictures of his mammoth trout and bass catches.
Of course, I show them to Pete, which kind of has a negative effect on his ego.
Pete is sure there is a conspiracy, "I know what you two are trying to do, diminish my capabilities."
Of course, Dennis denies there is a scheme but the pictures of the monster-sized fish keep rolling in.
Now, I've heard Pete pump Dennis for his favorite fishing holes, techniques and baits.
To me, a non-fisherman, the two's questions sound something like, "cetchenny, goddafew, kindarthay, bassentrout and ennysizetoom."
Although I don't understand what the two are gabbing about, I'm sure Pete duplicates everything he's told by Dennis, but so far there have been few positive results.
Rumor around the office is that Dennis made a last gasp attempt at introducing Pete to the fine art of fishing.
Now I'm sure that Pete still thinks there's a conspiracy going on and really doesn't trust Dennis to unleash some of his considerable fishing secrets.
Nonetheless, the two traveled to a high country stream for a bit of night angling.
Sitting on opposite sides of the stream, Dennis was pulling in trout as fast as he could put his line in the water. On the other side, Pete was catching nothing.
Soon Pete yelled, "I'd sure like to be on your side of the stream."
Tongue-in-cheek, Dennis yelled back, "Sure, I'll shine my flashlight across the water and you can walk over on the beam of light."
Hearing that, Pete answered, "No way Dennis, you think I'm stupid, I didn't go to ASU. When I get halfway across, you'll turn your flashlight off."
Yep, those Stanford graduates are brilliant.
Water station help still needed
Safeway Foundation Charities coordinator Lynne ODonnell continues to seek help hosting the inaugural Huffin' & Puffin' in the Pines 8-mile, 5-mile and 1-Mile runs. All will be be held July 12 at Rumsey Park.
She's looking for local civic organizations willing to man water stations along the race route.
ODonnell reasons that those groups who volunteer to help will give their club great community exposure and a winning image for supporting healthy living and Safeway Foundation Charities.
"All for just handing out water," ODonnell said.
Also, organizations that volunteer will be allowed to hang their group's group's banner at the water station and share their club information in race packets.
Those unable to volunteer can participate by making $25 donation mile marker sponsorships.
"You will have your organization's name put on a designated mile marker and we will put your print advertising in our race packets," ODonnell said.
For those who are entering one of the races, ODonnell is encouraging them to seek run sponsors willing to make donations to the Safeway Foundation.
"You can collect donations on-line when you create your own fund-raising page," she said.
That page can be found at: www.active.com/donate/makingadifference.
"You can also collect and turn in sponsor money on race day," she said.
Prizes will be awarded to the top three fund-raisers.
Also, there will be a pre-race pasta dinner served from 4 to 7 p.m., July 11 for $5.
Race awards will be presented to the first five male and female finishers in each of the events.