What a glorious summer of cinema it was, with “The Dark Knight” reminding us why we miss Heath Ledger, ABBA fans coming out of the closet and out of the woodwork for “Mamma Mia!,” “Kung Fu Panda” and “WALL-E” keeping the kiddies entertained and an August so littered with funny, raunchy movies the nation’s frat houses threatened to empty out altogether.
Sure, most were instantly forgettable comic-book adaptations, ditzy musicals or pot-fueled farces. But they’re worth remembering, even if Oscar voters don’t. Let’s tear open the envelopes and hand out some awards, even if we don’t have naked-guy statuettes, Price Waterhouse or Whoopie Goldberg.
Best actor: Robert Downey Jr., in iron (“Iron Man”) and in blackface (”Tropic Thunder”). “I know who I am! I’m a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude!” Dude, you said it.
Best actress: Maria Bello, “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.” What, you think it’s easy impersonating Oscar winner Rachel Weisz in a really bad movie?
Best supporting actor: Danny McBride, “Pineapple Express,” “Tropic Thunder” — the funniest Southern accent in the cinema.
Best supporting actress: Gwyneth Paltrow, “Iron Man.” She made us care, and made the flirtation work.
Best director: Jon Favreau, for making “Iron Man” witty, heartfelt and fun.
Best picture: “WALL-E.” Great animation, a simple story, a cautionary message.
Best upgrade: Maggie Gyllenhaal, replacing Katie Holmes in “The Dark Knight.”
Best reunion: Karen Allen and Harrison Ford, “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.”
Best surprise: James Franco finding his blitzed bliss in “Pineapple Express.”
Best remake: “Brideshead Revisited.”
Career in trouble: Mike Myers. “The Love Guru” would have been the hit of the summer ... in 1994.
Most pointless sequel: “The X-Files: I Want to Believe.”