Mentioning Some Things That I Am For

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Those of us on my side of the political spectrum have grown to recognize certain political phrases and questions from the left side of the trail for what they really mean. For instance, when a liberal with both feet firmly planted in mid-air says, “We need to educate …” it has not one thing to do with education. Rather it means, “We need to indoctrinate and bamboozle these right-wing, Bible-toting naysayers out of their money, land and assets by telling them they are not educated because if they were they would love to share their wealth with us.”

Another line we often get from the left is, “Why are you so negative? It’s not enough to just be against everything. You’ve got to be for something.”

Of course we are for something. Issues, like coins, are two-sided. The reason I’m against sharks in the swimming pool is that I’m for grandchildren. The reason I’m against slavery is that I’m for freedom. We are not for change just for the sake of change like the guy who just for a change started parting his hair across the top of his head from ear to ear. Someone asked him how he liked his new hairstyle and he said, “Oh, I like it fine except for one thing.”

“What’s that?” questioned his friend.

“Well, folks keep coming up and whispering into my nose.”

We are not for changing the greatest free enterprise system the world has ever known for a welfare state. So, just to incur the wrath of a few loony tune liberals (keep those letters coming), I will mention some things I’m for.

I’m for God, family and country, and in that order. I’m for guns, ammunition, and Bibles in the hands of U.S. citizens and I’m for the people who cling to them. I’m for the 11 western states taking back that part of their land that is unconstitutionally claimed by the federal government. In fact, I am for state’s rights. I’m for folks who tell the truth and who consider their word as binding.

I’m for cattle and I’m for American agriculture. I’m for the organic Constitution of the United States, for the strict interpretation thereof, and I’m for the Bill of Rights. I’m for all public servants who swear to uphold and defend the Constitution and this country against all enemies, foreign and domestic either doing so, or being tried for treason by a jury of cattle ranchers in Catron County, N.M. — and I’m for Joe Arpaio.

I’m for a space program. In fact, I’m for sending not one, but a couple of dozen people to the moon starting with Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi, Chris Dodd, Janet Napolitano, Timothy Franz Geithner, Bill Ayers, Anderson Cooper, Mario Armando Lavandeira — aka Perez Hilton, Sonia Sotomayor, and the belligerent bigot, Jeremiah Wright.

I’m for bringing our soldiers home immediately and stationing enough of them on our borders to secure this country against illegal immigration. I’m for the U.S. government defending “We the People” against foreign invasion. I’m for a return to the gold standard as mandated in the Constitution. I’m for abolishing the property tax and income tax and replacing those revenues with the Duties, Imposts and Excises taxes as set fourth in the Constitution. I’m for releasing those terrorists at the Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp to a chain gang on a Polish pig farm.

I’m for a law requiring that anyone, other than military personnel, drawing a regular check from the federal government forfeit the right to vote. I’m for a grand jury investigation of ACORN. I’m for a law requiring that every member of Congress be required to memorize any bill for which they cast a “yes” vote.

I’m for repealing the ridiculous open meeting law. I’m for the Arizona State Parks Board either keeping the Tonto Natural Bridge open or quitclaiming it to the Town of Payson. I’m for reopening South McLane Road from Highway 87 to Main Street. I’m for congressmen, senators, presidents and cabinet members obeying the same laws imposed on the rest of us. I’m for requiring Obama to explain what the hell he was doing bowing to a Saudi king. I’m for Janet Napolitano telling us what she knows about the swine flu while hooked to a lie detector. Actually, there are so many things to be for, I feel like the kid spelling Mississippi. I know what to do; I just have a hard time stopping.

Finally, I’m for my wife, Jayne, who chooses to do the “right thing” even when it costs her money, friends or position.

Como Siempré, Jinx

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