Taped minutes of the Anti Jinx Alliance (AJA) meeting, Aug 30, 2009.
Meeting called to order by President Wackie Stormwack at 10:05:
Chairman Stormwack: As all of you know, the first and only thing on our agenda is how do we stop Jinx Pyle from asserting his First Amendment right of free speech? I’ll open the subject for discussion. The chair recognizes Little Leftfellow. How do we handle this one, Leftfellow?
Little Leftfellow: First, I intend to discredit Jinx by calling him Tiny Pyle, town historian and grandson of Floyd Pyle. We need to emphasize that Jinx is just an “aw-shucks” cowboy person. Without really saying it, we should cultivate an air of disdain for any cowboy point of view. Next, I would like to wish him a happy birthday.
Stormwack: Uh, good point, Leftfellow. The chair recognizes Teddy Tutu.
Teddy Tutu: I know! Let’s tell them Jinx is just a cowboy and that it is wisdom for him to talk to his horse, but we can’t allow him to have a pen in a public forum. At least let’s tell him he can only write good ol’ cowboy stories. We’ll tell him that he is no political commentator.
Stormwack: Yes, Yes, Tutu, very good. Before the chair recognizes you, El Bon, I’ve been asked to notify you, we would all appreciate it if you would quit wearing those ridiculous looking shorts to these meetings and would you please zip them up? Now stop squawking and flogging about and tell us if you have an idea. By the way, are those really your legs, or you ridin’ a chicken?
El Bon: First, I totally, squawk, resemble that remark. Now, I feel compelled to say that we need to tell the public that Obama didn’t really bow to that Saudi King. He was just trying to see if the king was wearing Birkenstocks. Yes, yes, and we can say that if Jinx had done his homework, he would have known that.
Stormwack: Right, and we will say Obama wasn’t apologizing for American aggression to every foreign country on the map. He was just being polite.
El Bon: I’m not, squawk! I mean I’m not done! I’m going to write that Jinx is a snake oil salesman and say that there is no Obama health care plan. It was just some peace of stuff written by a Republican senator from Georgia and now it has been discarded. Jinx wants to throw Obama and all the babies out with the bathwater! I’ve actually seen him wearing a black hat! He is a very mean-spirited cowboy; not at all like Roy Rogers!
Stormwack: Yes, he is El Bon! Leftfellow, did you have something to add?
Little Leftfellow: Yes, I think it is time we ask the question, “is Jinx Sarah Palin’s father?” He is probably the one who taught her to shoot mooses and drill for oil. He needs to be told that if he doesn’t support the health care bill written by the Republican senator from Georgia he can’t draw his Social Security or Medicare and with regard to section 1233 of ...
Stormwack: I think Jinx was talking about section 1223.
El Bon: Who cares? It is the same bill isn’t it?
Stormwack: Mr. Wakewater, we haven’t heard from you yet.
Wakewater: Yeh, someone should point out that Jinx’s cowboy ways are very insulting to us highly educated elitists. I mean we have come into Payson and did our best to save these people from themselves. I mean, it’s just like President Obama said, they cling to guns and religion. How can you deal with people like that? Jinx and the rest of them have to learn to support our president no matter what he tries to do. I mean, so Obama wants to pass a bunch of bills no one has read and what if he increases the national debt by a few trillion dollars every now and then? We owe it to ourselves, don’t we? Or do we owe it to China? Anyhow, I see no problem with the government taking over a few banks, the health care industry, and some auto companies. I mean after all, he campaigned on a platform of chains, I mean change. We need to give him a chance to implement his policies.
Stormwack: Good point Wakewater!
El Bon: Yah, Yah, We’ll say Jinx wants Obama to fail. Oh, I know, let’s say Jinx has bad table manners and let’s tell everyone that Jinx should be ashamed of himself and ask the Roundup to fire him because he has no shame.
Stormwack: OK, so we hit Jinx with all this, do you think it will shut him up?
El Bon: Well, uh ...
Little Leftfellow: I know. What would we write about?
Como Siempré, Jinx