Resolutions More In Line With The Times


Well, it’s now the end of January, which means we’re already a month into our 2011 New Year’s resolutions.

Again this year, as I’ve promised myself at the beginning of so many years in the past, I would resolve to lose weight, exercise more, learn something new, get out of debt, quit smoking and drinking and rid myself of the many other nasty, addictive habits I’ve picked up over the years.

But alas, after one month of giving it my all, I’ve again failed to follow through with even one self-promise! Same old resolutions each January — same old results.

So now, as February is nigh, I’ve decided to junk my original New Year’s resolution list and come up with a lineup that’s more in tune with the Smartphone iPod-iPad, Facebook, Twitter and Tweet 21st century.

My revised 2011 new age, computer-generated New Year’s resolutions (in no particular order of must-achieve) are as follows:

1) I will cut down on the amount of time I spend on the computer, from my present time of 12 hours per day to no more than six hours — unless, of course, there are no good sporting events on television that day.

2) I will limit my time on Facebook, (looking at pictures of people I don’t even know, posting pictures that I know people will never even look at and reading mindless comments posted by people I have never heard of before) to no more than three hours each day — unless, of course, there are an extraordinary number of “Shout Outs” on a particular day that I simply must read.

3) When I’m cruising down the Beeline, I swear I’ll keep my eyes on the road (as best I can, anyway) and keep at least one hand on the wheel when I’m texting — unless, of course, I’m also eating a Whopper at the same time, in which case I promise to use my knees to control the steering wheel.

4) I solemnly swear to place my cell phone on vibration mode when I am out in public so that those around me won’t jump out of their skins when they hear my Lady Gaga’s “I Like It Rough” ring tone (which I keep on high volume) — unless, of course, I know the people around me are Lady Gaga fans (in which case, for their enjoyment, I will increase the volume even more).

5) When I am speaking with someone face-to-face, I will refrain from cutting him off mid-sentence to take a call and make my real-life friend feel less than chopped liver — unless, of course, I know it is a must-answer-at-this-very-second-or-my-friend-will-hate-me-forever call.

6) When I am in public, especially in a restaurant or doctor’s office, I vow to speak on my cell phone using my softest library voice — unless, of course, I know the person on the other end is hard of hearing (which, after listening to Lady Gaga music all day, most of my callers are), then I have no choice but to shout into my phone, as I usually do.

I’m so happy to report that after forty-eight hours of applying these new resolutions to my life, I’ve been coping fairly well with withdrawal pains of modifying my electronic gadget addictions, especially my I’d-die-without-it cell phone.

Now, let’s turn our attention to this week’s music trivia question. If you enjoy chatting on the phone as much as I do, you’re going to love this week’s prize. Be caller number five and have the correct answer and you’ll win a $25 Verizon Wireless gift certificate from Rim Country Wireless, located in the Safeway Shopping Plaza, courtesy of Adam Jonus, store manager.

This week’s music trivia question is: which of the following country music stars recorded the 1996 hit “Phones Are Ringing All Over Town?” Was it A) Reba McEntire, B) Miranda Lambert, C) Martina McBride, or D) C.W. McCall?

This singer/songwriter was country music’s female vocalist of the year in 1999, 2002, 2003 and 2004. She has five No. 1 hits to her credit, including “Wild Angels” (1996), “A Broken Wing” (1998) and her biggest hit “I Love You” (1999).

Now, let’s check out how we did with last week’s music trivia question, which was: Can you name the title of Floyd Cramer’s 1962 hit which peaked in the top 10 on both Billboard’s pop and country charts? Was the title A) First Date, B) Last Date, C) Double Date, or D) No Date?

The correct answer was “Last Date.”

Congratulations to last week’s music trivia winner, Max Mills, who won two tickets to this past Wednesday’s Tonto Community Concert Association’s performance by Cristiana Pegoraro.

Max is now a three-time trivia winner.

Lastly, as reported in this past week’s Roundup, it looks like Star Valley’s Pete’s Place is here to stay, following settlement of back taxes and securing a new loan. (I’m thinking the warm-hearted girls probably pooled their tip money to help out their benevolent boss, Joe Soldevere. How sweet.)

Now, we can all sing “Set ’Em Up, Joe!” (Verne Gosdin, 1988.)

DJ Craig — Phone: 468-1482

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