When Is It All Right To Beat A Woman?

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So when is OK to beat someone? Let’s say you’re a man and a woman’s making you miserable. Could you maybe break her nose if she sprays you with a water bottle?

No.

Suppose she calls you names?

No. No.

What if she’s drunk and abusive?

No. No. No.

How about if she hits you?

No — a thousand times no.

But if you want to know why domestic violence remains the great scourge of our culture, just read the letters submitted to the court on behalf of Zachary Smith and his father, Jerry, who grew so enraged at Zachary’s girlfriend that they took turns beating her. The apartment ended up spattered with blood and she ended up with a concussion and a broken nose.

The father and son escaped jail time — thanks to the intervention of their victim.

The violence the two men directed against the woman in this case is shocking enough. But it’s the letters of support filed by friends and family that really explain why such violence continues, day after day after week after month after year. The federal Centers for Disease Control reports that 30 percent of women will suffer rape, physical violence or stalking by a partner. Domestic violence leads to more than 2,300 deaths annually — 70 percent of them women. Every minute, another 24 attacks occur — 12 million a year.

But several of the letters filed on the defendant’s behalf adopted the malignant, shameful, all-too-common tactic of blaming the victim. In some twisted expression of fear, sexism and anger, women often get blamed for the terrible crimes they suffer.

So let this community make this clear: No man worthy of the title should EVER strike out violently at a woman or a child. We measure the worth of a man by his self control — and by how well he protects those weaker than he. Sometimes, a man may fail this test and disgrace himself. Then he must accept responsibility — something else a real man does.

When is it all right to hit a woman?

Never.

And when is it all right to blame the victim?

Never. Never. Never.

Comments

H. Wm. Rhea III 4 months ago

Why are we still talking about this? I thought it was pretty much agreed upon that we should execute repeat offenders. Oh, yeah, because they courts haven't caught up with justice yet.

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Ted Paulk 4 months ago

Let me get this straight: If I get caught drinking more than a couple of drinks by the police twice in a seven year period, I go to jail for six months and pay several thousand dollars in fines; If I'm caught with drug paraphernalia, l can get a year in the pen.., If I get in a bar brawl at the Buffalo I can go to jail and pay a huge fine, but if my son and I decide to beat his girlfriend into unconsciousness I get probation; providing I've I've only done it once? Oh and if my neighbor's dog wanders into my yard I can kill the man, not the dog, I will be sentenced to house arrest...things seem kind of backward.

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Travis Livengood 3 months, 4 weeks ago

Wow. I never thought I would ever agree with a single word you speak much less and entire comment, but I do. Miracles do happen.

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Ronald Hamric 4 months ago

First let me state that I don't believe anyone should hit another person, regardless of gender. But I would like to put this out there for thought. This country is currently looking to place women in combat roles in our military. Women for decades have fought for "equality" with men. The "glass ceiling" perhaps has not been broke through completely, but some progress certainly has been made. The issue this "When Is It All Right To Beat A Woman?" makes it appear that some want FULL equality with men, just not to this degree. If I was a woman who felt she had every right to be given full consideration that any man would be given, I just might chafe at the thought that I am still perceived as "the weaker sex" and could not effectively defend myself.

I still open doors for women and do those things I was raised up to believe are right when it comes to "the fairer sex". To me it is the right and courteous thing to do.Having said that, if a woman, for whatever her reason, decides she can physically assault me without retribution, then the gloves come off and all those formalities may get set aside. Depends on the circumstances. I've had women tell me they would have it no other way. Have also had some get angry when I opened doors for them as well, as if it was something they preferred to do for themselves and they CERTAINLY didn't need any help from me. Chivalry may not be dead but the "women's movement" sure made some dents in it. Just my two cents. Your mileage may vary.

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Kim Chittick 4 months ago

Hmmm, I have much to address here. I will say that I do agree with Ron in that if women want to be treated with equality, then we should not expect to be treated as the "weaker sex". In my opinion, this is applicable to women in combat, police jobs, firefighting jobs, and business. Essentially, we are equal human beings and deserve, and should expect, to be treated as such. I also agree that if a woman becomes combative with a man initially, I do feel that she should expect to be restrained in such a manner as to stop the combat. Do I think that even in that situation a man should haul off and beat the snot out of her until she is unconscious or dead? Absolutely NOT. Typically men have more physical strength than women and can certainly overpower them easily. I will also say that I personally love having doors opened for me and chairs pulled out for me. I love being treated like a lady. However, do I think that allowing a man to open a door for me, or pull a chair out for me diminishes me as an equal human being? Of course not. Do I think that him treating me with courtesy and respect means that I should be satisfied with less pay for the same job? Not on your life! However, equality has absolutely NOTHING to do with domestic violence. Intimate partner violence is vastly different than workplace equality. A woman, nay, any person, involved in a relationship with another has the right to expect that they will not be hit, battered, abused, denigrated, belittled or otherwise hurt, by that person. For this young woman to have had to help put her inebriated father-in-law (or her boyfriends father, as the case may be) to bed, and then deal with her passed out boyfriend until she finally sprays him with water to get him to wake up, only to end up running for her life around her apartment being beaten and choked by both men, is a disgrace. What is even more disgraceful though, are the letters of support written for these "men". The situation is exacerbated by the fact that the victims request for no jail and blaming herself are classic behaviors which are perpetrated by victims of domestic violence.

I am saddened and sickened by the slight slap on the wrist these men got; as well as by the slap in the face that the victim, and all victims of domestic violence got from our judicial system.

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Ronald Hamric 4 months ago

Kim,

It is a thorny issue but I agree, what those guys did was criminal and should have been treated as such. Sends the wrong message that they hardly paid a price for their misdeeds. As to the above article, there are some pretty adamant admonitions. "No, No, No! A thousand times No!" I simply do not buy into such matter of fact views without having an appreciation for all the facts regarding any confrontation. I think, if you haven't already, might want to read this article. http://ideas.time.com/2013/12/16/its-a-mans-world-and-it-always-will-be/print/ By Camille Paglia in Time magazine. I think the lady has a good handle on reality regarding the issue of gender equality. As do you I might add.;-) Now I'm going to get accused of "kissing up".

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Kim Chittick 4 months ago

Kiss up all you want Ron!!! Remember??? I LOVE being a woman!! And thank you for the nice compliment!

Hmmm, your recommended article was very interesting, and definitely food for thought.

For the sake of this discussion though, I think that we should clarify that we are discussing domestic violence, not workplace equality or the equality of the sexes in general. The whole workplace equality discussion is another age old argument that has all sorts of twists and turns and exceptions and generalizations; and is not really relevant to this discussion. However, should you be interested in discussing workplace equality, please start a thread, I would love to join that discussion.

Your comment about whether it is ever ok to hit a woman, especially if she has hit first is an interesting one. I have always said that I feel if a woman hits a man in anger, then she should fully expect to be stopped. By “stopped” do I mean “punched in the face with a closed fist or slapped broadside across the chops, or choked until she loses consciousness?”? To quote the editorial, “NO! NO! NO!” A real man should walk away, leave the area, and call the police, because any attempt at physically restraining an angry enough to hit woman will only result in more physicality. And any man, regardless of how gentlemanly or chivalrously he has been raised is going to get tired of being hit and react; which is why he should leave the area.

Most men are inherently, genetically, biologically, physically, stronger, more muscular, than most women. A hit, punch, slap or kick from most women would definitely hurt, however, would likely not do the damage to a man like one backhanded slap from a man, to a woman’s face would do. Intimate partner violence is NEVER ok. No matter what. The only time one partner’s hands should be on the other is in love, assistance, compassion and caring, NEVER in anger or violence. continued....

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Kim Chittick 4 months ago

...continued

Regarding this story about Zachary and Jerry Smith, the fact that father and son teamed up and worked together to beat the daylights out of this woman who had the audacity to “piss off” her boyfriend, neither of these two males is deserving of the title “man”.

It is a father’s/parent’s responsibility to teach his sons how to treat women.

For me though, there are so many questions about this entire scenario: Why was the father sleeping in the apartment with the young couple? Why did the father need his son’s fiancee’s help to get to bed? Why didn’t the son put his dad to bed? If the father was so incapacitated that he needed help to get into bed, how then was he capable of joining in the fray to beat the young girl senseless? In what kind of family is it normal for a father to sit around drinking with his son and his son’s fiancée? At what point did Zachary have the presence of mind to barricade the door with a chair? When the two men heard the Police at the door, why was that not a “wake-up call to them that they were way out of line? If there was so much family support for Zachary after this altercation, where was all that support when he needed to be taught that beating the daylights out of the woman that you profess to love is not acceptable? So, Zachary was remorseful? Of course he was, woman beaters don’t do well in jail. Zachary would not have cared for some of his own medicine! So, he had a good job? Gee, what kind of employer would keep on an employee with the kind of morals and issues that Zachary obviously has?

As for Jerry Smith? He isn’t a father. Father’s teach their son’s how to be Men, Jerry Smith is simply a sperm donor who should be spending several years in prison for participating in this blood bath.

As for Zachary Smith? He is simply a punk who learned early how to work the system.

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